At the end of this post is a link with suggestions for dealing with Parental Alienation Child Abuse. I believe they could be helpful for early stages of PACA. But for later stages, there is only one solution–ending the the alienating parent’s ability to destroy the other parent. This is why the support of the Court is needed.
In the Superior Court of Solano County, it is standard practice to issue orders that would prevent PACA, but the problem is that the Courts do not enforce the orders. I repeat for emphasis that the Superior Court of Solano County does not enforce their orders. This is a problem that is squarely on the shoulders of the Judges and the Court system. This gets back to the wholesale toleration of lying and false allegation in the Solano Family Court, and the influence of politics on the Court system. The Judges of Solano Courts have courage when the issues are domestic violence or child support, but on other issues they are cowards and show their true character–they will not punish for lying or false allegations and do no want to hear about Parental Alienation. Usually, you will not get the issue of PACA before the Court because they use court appointed mediators that throw a doubt into any proceedings. The Court appointed mediators usually paint any case in terms of domestic violence even based on false allegations. (The mediators write up their reports as if they are fact after an hour or so of interviews–when they are nothing more than a guess. There is no real fact finding and no desire upon the Court to find facts.) There is a false Justice system at the Superior Court of Solano County based on treating people as pegs and your case must fit in one of the holes they have provided. Parental alienation child abuse is not one of the holes for pegs. I would have never known what a snake pit of business, politics, and artful disregard of truth though administrative policies and rules had I not used the Court, so I assume most out their don’t know the truth. The Solano Court system in character is no different than a criminal organization except that it happens to have some serious judicial responsibility. The Judges are nothing more than a cog in the divorce business — most Judges are there to climb ladders or draw a steady pay check. (As with most County Courts you can find many Judges who are married or friends with lawyers in the community and this Judges have great sympathy for the need to keep their own kind employed and they place their own kind (lawyers) high on the pedestal. There is a caste system in place and parents are at the bottom of the caste and the interest of lawyers (top of the caste) — to prolong bureaucracy to fill their bank accounts is supreme.)
So when the Court whines openly about their budget cuts. I say cut their budgets because the Court system is a mess. It no longer serves justice. It is nothing more than a tool for politicians and an employment agency for lawyers. No Court system is better than a bad system. The County Court fails to be a real player in Justice and needs to be reformed on done away with…employing lawyers (many of whom the Judges have connections) or having superficial justice for administrative reasons does not meet the common sense basis of why the people want a Court.
But if you are lucky enough to catch parental alienation early enough, see references for how to battle it.
1. Destroy the effects of denigration by one parent towards the other by making the child aware of the happy history before the acrimony and separation between the parents occurred.
2. Get the child to see the good points about the denigrated parent.
3. Be firm and proactive in changing attitudes and behaviour that have caused the parental alienation.
4. Try to get the alienating parent to cooperate in stopping the alienation. This is easier said than done, and many alienators will refuse to cooperate in this although claiming otherwise. This is even the case when it is highlighted that such actions are actually harmful to the child’s development.
5. Appeal to the child’s conscience that he or she is rejecting, hurting, and humiliating an innocent party who cares for that child.
6. Have the child together with the alienated parent in due course while seeking to change both attitudes and behaviour via rational emotive therapy. There is a need in this process for very firm communications.
7. Make the child aware of what a blood relative might sacrifice for that child which is not the case for strangers.
8. Warn the parent who alienates the child of the harm that they are doing to the child not just in the present time but in the future also.
9. Appeal to the child’s critical thinking (intelligence and emotions) and make the child aware of the unfairness and cruelty in rejecting a loving parent.
10. Make the child aware that they need both parents without endangering the relationship with the alienating parent.
11. Make the child aware that they may lose a good parent if the process of alienation continues.
12. The child should be made aware that the extended family of the alienated parent is also being unfairly rejected.
13. Encourage the child not only to engage with the alienated parent but with the alienated parent’s extended family, i.e. grandmother, grandfather, aunts, uncles, etc. This will serve to reverse the alienation process.
14. Curtail or eliminate telephone calls and other communications from the programming parent while the child is with the non-custodial parent.